Nobody is Thinking About You (As Much As You Think They Are)
By Suzanne
So, there. I said it.
It sounds almost rude. But what if it is one of the most freeing truths you will ever hear?
Nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are. I know this from my own worries and experiences. For sure, they are not analyzing your outfit, replaying what you said in a meeting, wondering why you stumbled over your words, or a million other things you are losing sleep over.
NOPE. Listen or read carefully here. “They” are too busy wondering if you noticed their outfit. Their awkward comments. Their wrinkles. Their mistakes. Are you laughing? Yup, you guessed it. They are too busy starring in their own movie, same as you are starring in yours.
Looking back over 84 years, I can honestly say I gave far too many imaginary, but real, people far too much authority over my life. Here is the creepy part: they were mostly people I did not like and feared, but, on the flip side, also some I loved and respected. I wonder, “Why did I allow them to be the boss of me?”
I declined opportunities, stayed small, stayed quiet, and I waited.
Not because anyone told me I couldn’t. Because I imagined what they might think.
Here is the irony.
The people I am thinking about were most likely not thinking about me at all. They were lying awake worrying about a million other things which I doubt even included what I thought of them.
Isn’t that wonderfully absurd?
Imagine millions of us walking around, convinced everyone else is watching, while everyone else is busy worrying about being watched.
What a colossal misunderstanding.
These days I ask a different question. Not, “What will people think?” Instead, “What do I think?”
That’s right.
Am I kind?
Am I honest?
Am I fun?
Am I the best me?
Am I authentic?
Do I want this?
If the answer is yes, well then I press “post,” sign up for a certification, walk into a room of scary people, raise my hand, wear red lipstick, and say yes because I want to, or no because I am clear I do not want to. I just go for it.
The day I realized nobody was thinking about me as much as I imagined was the day I started thinking for myself.
“Sadly, the opinions that held me back the longest were the ones nobody ever actually had.”
💚 Suz, The Accidental Blogger