Enough. According to Whom?

I have a friend whose dad used to say, "I wish you enough.” I was never quite sure how to interpret that. Enough of what? Happiness? Money? Love? Time? That little wish stayed with me. And lately, I have been thinking about another kind of “enough.”

The kind we struggle to let ourselves have. Have I done enough, helped enough, accomplished enough? And sometimes under those questions, another is waiting.

Am I enough?

I can finish a day having done quite a lot and still find myself thinking about everything I have not done. The unanswered messages. The unfinished project. The “thing” I meant to get to. Apparently, whatever I completed has already lost its vote. The unfinished “things” are running the meeting. I am beginning to wonder who put them in charge.

Some responsibilities have a clear finish. Others can expand to fill every available minute. There is always another task, another person we could help, another improvement we could make. If the existence of more to do means we have not done enough, when exactly do we get to stop? And who decides?

I suspect we collect ideas about enough throughout our lives. From families. Schools. Workplaces. The people around us. We learn to be useful. Responsible. Available. We may become so practiced at meeting expectations that we forget to examine them.

Is this still what I expect of myself?

Is it reasonable for the life I have now?

Did I choose this or have I simply been carrying this for years?

I love creating, and contributing and I have ideas that make me eager to get up and get going. I want to keep that enthusiasm. But I also want to be able to finish my day without putting myself on trial. Wanting to grow and feeling perpetually inadequate are very different experiences. I can be excited about what comes next while allowing what I did today to count.

I can want more from my life without requiring more proof of my worth.

Perhaps “enough”, needs a little definition before the day begins? What actually needs my attention? What would I like to do if there was time? What can wait? AND, somewhere in those questions I need to include myself. My energy, my enjoyment, and my need to sit down without immediately turning it into a planning session.

Some days I have plenty to give. Other days, taking care of the essentials uses what I have. “Enough” has to leave room for that. Otherwise, I am measuring every day against an imaginary version of myself who never gets tired, distracted, or interrupted. (Yikes, she sounds exhausting. I don’t think I want to live with her. 😂)

Here is something I want to practice: noticing what I accomplished before listing what remains. Allowing a completed task to remain completed. Accepting a thank you before I wonder what else I should have offered. Letting rest be part of the day, even when the list still has items on it.

There can be more to do, and I can have done enough for today.

I am still not clear about what my friend’s dad meant by “I wish you enough.”

But, today I hear something generous in those words.

Enough to meet our needs. Enough room to enjoy our lives.

Enough trust in ourselves to stop moving the finish line.

The ability to recognize enough when it is already here.

What a lovely thing to wish someone, I wish you enough.

And I am learning to wish it for myself also.

💚 The Accidental Blogger