Weekending Confusion

I have a question.

If I leave my upstairs office, go downstairs, settle onto my family room couch, and bring my books and computer, am I weekending? Or have I simply relocated my office?

Apparently, recognizing that I had lost my weekends was only the beginning. Learning how to have one is an entirely different undertaking.

I genuinely enjoy what I do. Creating, writing, reading, responding, coaching, and teaching. I love following a thought and seeing where it leads. If something catches my eye, and attention, immediately I want to explore it.

So when someone says, “Take a break,” part of me thinks, but I am having fun. And for sure I am. Yet I am beginning to notice that enjoyment and obligation sometimes arrive wearing the same outfit. I open the computer because I want to write. Then I remember something I should finish. Which reminds me of something else I should finish. Which in turn reminds me of something I should prepare. Which can lead to checking something else.

And There Goes Saturday.

The couch was comfortable. The scenery changed. And, apparently I was still on duty. So perhaps the question is less about what I’m doing and more about whether I feel free to stop. Can I close the book half way through an interesting chapter? Can I let an idea wait without worrying that I am wasting it? Can I enjoy an afternoon that produces absolutely nothing I can post, share, or check off a list? This last one gets my attention.

I spent years (6) building a new life with purpose. Now I am learning how to leave some room in it. Like room for an unplanned afternoon. A conversation with no particular destination. The pleasure of reading something without turning it into anything.

Here is “the thing”: I don’t want to make “weekending“ another assignment. Imagine grading myself on how successfully I relaxed.
“Needs improvement. Still thinking.”🤣

For now,I am trying one small experiment: noticing whether I am choosing what comes next or automatically following another should.

Sometimes I may choose to write.

Sometimes I may close the computer.

I would like both choices to feel available.

Because a weekend probably needs a little more freedom than a change of furniture.

💚 The Accidental Blogger