When the Door Cracks Open

There is a quote hanging on my fridge, in my office and on my phone. I do not keep it in three places simply because it sounds good. NOPE! I keep it there because it changed the way I walk through doors.

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”

George Addair

Enzo shared those words with me early in our work together, when we were beginning to create my website and build my social media platforms. I was 83 then and I just wanted to become. I was also terrified. I was definitely not afraid because I lacked ideas. I had plenty of those. I was not afraid because I had nothing to say. I was afraid because saying them publicly required me to be seen.

A Website? Social media? Videos? Blogs? … At 83?

Each one was a door cracking open and my first instinct was not always to walk through. Sometimes I wanted to close the door quietly and pretend I never noticed said door. Sometimes I wanted to just take a peek. BUT, sometimes I was willing to step forward, but only timidly, already planning how I might escape if I felt foolish, uncomfortable, or too exposed.

Enzo noticed all of that.

He saw my ideas, my enthusiasm, and my longing to create something meaningful. He also noticed my fear. In the best possible ways he encouraged me. He never pushed me through a door before I was ready. He never dismissed my fear or made me feel less than.

He also never told me that building new platforms at 83 would be easy.

Instead, he helped me see what might be waiting on the other side. He shared the George Addair quote. Those words landed like a bomb. Those words did not tell me that fear would disappear. They told me where fear was standing. Yup. It was standing between me and something I was pretty sure I wanted.

That changed everything.

Until then, I had treated everything as a warning: STOP. Turn Around. This may not be for you.

But what if fear is not always a STOP SIGN? What if sometimes it is just a marker. Sort of like evidence that I had reached the edge of something important. What if trembling did not mean I was walking toward the wrong door? What if it actually meant I was standing before the right one?

And just like that, I began to look at fear differently. I also began to look at opening doors differently.

Let’s be clear here, a door cracking open is not a guarantee. It does not reveal everything waiting on the other side. It does not promise that you will succeed, feel comfortable, or know exactly what to do next. It simply offers an invitation.

For much of our lives, we may respond to those invitations by waiting. I think we wait for greater confidence, certainty, someone to tell us we are qualified. Mostly, I think we wait until we are no longer afraid. AND, sometimes while we are waiting, the door may quietly close.

Enzo helped me understand that I did not have to wait for fear to leave before I entered. I could actually take it with me. So there it began, I started walking through doors, not recklessly, not without questions, not pretending to be fearless, but with growing anticipation. The website, the blog, the social media platforms, all of the doors opened. I walked through.

One door led to another. Each step gave me enough courage for the next one. I did not know exactly where any of it would lead, but I began to understand something important: Confidence was not waiting for me before the door, it was being built on the other side.

I realized I did not need someone to tell me to stop being afraid. I needed someone to recognize what I was trying to become, believe that it was possible and help me take the next step.

Enzo did that for me. (Before Enzo, Natasha Lantz, from the TC Campbell Center for Nutrition Studies did that for me.💚)

Enzo helped me create the platforms that allowed my thoughts and voice and eventually purpose to reach beyond my home. He encouraged me without overpowering me. He made space for my ideas while helping me give them form. And when fear began whispering that perhaps I was too old, too late, or too inexperienced, there were these haunting words: “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”

I discovered that “becoming” does not have an expiration date. The lesson did not arrive because fear vanished. NOPE! It arrived because I moved. Yes, fear still meets me at a new door. I suspect it always will. But our relationship has changed.

You only need enough courage for one step. Then another. Walk through. You may discover that fear was never guarding the exit.

It was standing at the entrance to your next beginning.

The Accidental Blogger