Nobody Knows They Are Taking Your Test

I watch as people slog their way through this thing we call life, and sometimes I think we are making it harder than it needs to be. Especially when it comes to other people.

“She should have called.”

“He should have offered.”

“I always reach out first.”

Somewhere along the way, a friendship has acquired an accounting department. Who called last? Who invited whom? Who did more?

Good grief I for sure do not want that job, who does?

I say treat people the way you want to be treated. If you feel like calling, call. If you want to do something kind, do it. Nobody wants to keep a little ledger tucked behind their smile. And honestly people have enough going on without being enrolled in a test they are not aware they are taking.

We can carry around very specific ideas about how someone should behave, then feel disappointed when they fail to follow the script. A script they were never given.

Of course I still want kindness, honesty, and respect. I can ask for what I need. I can also recognize when a relationship is not good for me.

But keeping track of every call, invitation, and favor? That is exhausting. I have a dog to walk.

There is something wonderfully peaceful about letting people show you who they are and deciding how that fits into your life.

So call because you want to. Give because you mean it. Speak up when something matters.

Retire the Secret scorecard.

Do what feels right when it feels right. Don’t send an invoice.

💚 The Accidental Blogger