Looking Back

Have you ever noticed that life only makes sense in reverse? While we are living it, everything feels random. Right? One decision here. A chance meeting there. A book someone recommended. A conversation you almost didn’t have. A class you almost didn’t take. A path you never intended to walk. At the time, none of it seems connected. It’s only later, when we look over our shoulder, that the dots begin to join.

I certainly couldn’t see it while I was living it. I didn’t know becoming vegetarian 20+ years ago would eventually lead me to whole-food, plant-based nutrition. I didn’t know that decision would send me back to school. Or that school would lead me to coaching. Or that writing would accidentally turn me into... well... The Accidental Blogger. On and on it went over the last 7 years. (Truth be known, over the last 84, but who’s counting?)

None of those steps were part of some brilliant master plan. Each one simply became the doorway to the next. Looking back, I can see that curiosity opened many of those doors. A willingness to pivot carried me through them. At the time, though, I thought I was simply following whatever happened to be interesting. Now I see something different.

I wasn’t wandering. I was becoming.

I think this is true of many of us. We spend so much time worrying that we’re off track when, in reality, we’re simply too close to the picture to see it. It’s a bit like standing with your nose against a giant mural. All you can see is one tiny brushstroke. Step back a few feet and suddenly the whole image begins to appear.

Perhaps that is one of the hidden gifts of growing older. We finally have enough distance to appreciate the masterpiece life has quietly been painting all along. Here is the thing. The beauty isn’t that everything happened exactly as planned. The beauty is that it didn’t.

Nope. Every unexpected turn introduced me to another version of myself. A version I had not met, yet. These days I don’t spend nearly as much time asking, “Where is this leading?” Instead, I find myself asking, “I wonder what this is preparing me for?”

Looking back has taught me something I wish my younger self had known. Very little of life is wasted. All of it, the mistakes, the detours, the pauses, the pivots, the unexpected joys. Well, they all become part of the story. Not because we understood their purpose at the time. But because, eventually, we understand what they were building.

So maybe that’s why I enjoy looking back now. Not to relive the past. But to appreciate how faithfully it carried me here.

💚 The Accidental Blogger